Relena's Real Face
by icecream fairy
Summary: Relena dies in a very UNUSUAL way... and we get a glimpse of what she really looks like!


This is absolutely ridiculous, but isn't that the point^_^   
  
I don't own GW! OR Anastasia, or rasputin  
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The door of the hotel room burst open and in marched Heero, dragging Relena behind him by her hair. She was on a business trip, and he was supposed to be her bodyguard.   
  
"Finally got away from those friggin people." Heero muttered. Relena just began babbling like the idiot she is because she was excited that she got to go on a real business trip with Heero. Heero sighed and promptly dropped her on the bed.   
  
"Owww! I'm gonna wrinkle my dress!" Relena sniffled. "Heeeeero! I don't wanna go to bed yet! I'm a big girl now. Mom let me stay up till eight!"  
  
Heero shook his head and went into the bathroom. After washing his hands and face and brushing his teeth, he went back into the room to find Relena sitting at the dresser, with a monstrous amount of junk spread on the counter.  
  
"Now Heero dearie, I have to take all my make up off before I get a rash like last time. But since you're my guard now you can stay here." She sweetly offered. Heero snorted. Yeah, he was dying to see her take off her make up. Just about as much as he wanted to take a crap on a cactus. He sighed. Maybe he'd get away with alive.   
  
Relena first removed her fake eyelashes. Heero grimaced as he saw the eyelids snap back into place. The girl then took out her earrings, part of her ears coming off as she did so.  
  
"Uh... Relena?" Heero worried.  
  
"Don't worry, hon. They're fake anyways." She yanked off both of her ears. Heero paled. She set the globby ears on the table. Then, she got some makeup removing wipes, and began to scrub her face vigorously. When all of the bubbles cleared, her skin was green! A trembling Heero clutched to the lamp so he wouldn't fall. Relena didn't notice, and removed her lipstick, yellow lips showing. She stuck her hand in her mouth, grunted a few times, and slowly, sickeningly, pulled out a full set of slimy, hideous dentures. They were casually plopped into a jar. She gave Heero a gummy grin and proceeded with her makeup removal. She began to massage her loose scalp, and (you guessed it!) her cheap, scruffy looking wig came off, revealing a patchy, rashy, scalp! Heero snapped, and ran into the corridors screaming. That creature was out to destroy the world! He'd known there was something fishy about her. He'd have to save the poor people. But he didn't want to do it himself. She was too gross. But then, he had an idea. He returned to the room.  
  
"So... Relena." Heero began.   
  
"Yes, honey?" Replied the moron with an obscenely revolting smirk. Not all the years of military training could prevent Heero from shuddering.   
  
"Uh, I've decided to tell you about my top secret plan to, uh, save the earth!"  
  
Relena, now uglier than ever without her loads of make up, pranced happily around the room, singing.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just hurry up and get over here." Heero impatiently muttered. The animal stopped her incoherent yodels of joy and stood in front of Heero. Her close proximity nauseated him.  
  
"Um, first, you have to go down to the lobby and kidnap the first kid you see."  
  
"But Heerooo! Kidnapping is bad!"  
  
"No it isn't." Heero soothed the animal. "We'll just be borrowing the kid."  
  
"Okiday!" Relena chirped.  
  
Heero sighed as she left, and he followed her.  
  
IN THE LOBBY:  
Relena stood, with the posture as that of a caveman, blankly gazing around the crowded room until she spotted her victim. A nasty looking toddler with drool hanging off his lip was tottering around the floor. Relena clambered up to it and said, "Hey, little gross kid. I'm gonna borrow you because I'm on a mission to save the world." The brat let out a huge bellow at the sight of the diseased girl hunched up next to him. His mother trotted up and snatched the blubbering kid out of Relena's grasp.   
  
"HEEEEEEELLLP! Someone call the police!" Relena bemusedly looked around at the commotion she was causing. Thinking the entire running around was a game, she, too, began to scream and run. The cops came but they were too afraid to get near the rabid thing so they called the zoo but they didn't want her. Nobody knew what to do, until Relena started convulsing like nuts and then everyone screamed, "watch out!" Steam blew from her ears and her bones showed as her flesh rotted away and she died like Rasputin from Anastasia, with his bones rattling like mad before disintegrating into dust. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and went on with their lives like nothing had happened. The janitor came and cleaned up the dust.   
  
The next day, the news reported that Relena Peacecraft was missing.  
  
THE END! 


End file.
